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If you’ve been around here for a while, you know that I have a really close relationship with my family. And when we first moved away for Joe’s school, I wasn’t sure I would survive without living by them! Honestly I was the hardest thing for me – and I really struggled that first year away. I couldn’t imagine doing holidays or birthdays without them there. Little did I know that as much as we missed both families, it would be the push we needed for us to make our own family traditions between Joe + I and the little people. Also I had know idea the we would make some incredible friends that have become like family!
Now that we are back in Utah, I can’t even tell you have much we have loved living by family again! The kids might love it even more than I do, if that’s possible! They get so excited for the unexpected morning visits from my sisters before they head to work – or after school visits, and especially love how much their cheering section has grown at games! haha!
One thing that has been an adjustment for all of us is realizing they have a life with responsibilities and other friends here too. And we can’t just play 24/7. We are so used to our time together being on vacations where everything is 100% family time. So it has been a little different to remember how to do everyday life! We all have busy schedules, but we are trying to get together for regular Sunday dinners. Plus we’re loving that both sets of grandparents are the perfect distance for a quick weekend getaway!
I feel so blessed to be back in Utah again — but I do have to say, if you ever get the chance to move away (even for a short time) do it!!! Honestly, it was the best thing for Joe and I and our relationship. Now I’d love to hear where you all are from + if your currently by family or on your own and what you love about it. Really I wanna know + love connecting more with you all!!
xx – kails
photos: corissa langheinrich
Wow, this was just the article I needed to read this morning! My husband and I have 3 Little boys (4, 2, & 9 months) and we just moved 3 hours away from ALL of our family 3 months ago. I’ve cried at least once every week from just missing what was. But you’re so right, my husband and I are so much closer now & we have already grown so much as a unit being away. Thanks for this Kailee! Love your blogs ❤️
Oh Amanda! I’m sorry it has been rough…I know exactly how you feel and probably cried for weeks straight. But I promise it gets better and you will love strengthening your little unit so much! Thank you for sharing!
I loved reading this! Sounds very much like my life. I always lived by my family and was extremely close to them and relied on them a lot!! We moved away from family last year for my husbands residency. I completely agree and understand what you are saying about making your own family traditions and having it strengthen your relationship but it is so hard because my husband works all the time (as I am sure you know). I can’t really rely on him so as much as I want to create our own family memories it’s so hard! How did you do it?! I know his schedule won’t always be this insane so I know that’s when we will be able to spend more time as a family. We have 1 son with 1 more on the way. I guess I’m wondering did you realize how good it was for you two while in it? Or did it take moving back and time to realize it. Also how did you take care of so many little people while away from family! You amaze me!!
Oh I am far from amazing, you are sweet! It took a lot of extra effort at first when his schedule was so crazy, and was close to impossible…but definitely looking back on it now, I feel like it brought us together + also taught me I can handle hard things on my own, even if I don’t always want to! Hope that makes sense! I’ll be thinking of you + hoping it gets easier to have that one on one time!
We’re away from family and although it’s hard it’s been so nice to have to branch out and make close friends to support and rely on. No one can take place of family, but friends can come close and theirs nothing better than making new ones to have forever!
Yes exactly!! You can’t replace family, but knowing you have gained friendships that will be just as strong is so amazing! Thank you so much for sharing + being part of this space! Love hearing from you!
I love this post!!! We have currently been living away from family for the last 5 years. It has been hard but has made me and the hubby become so so so much closer. And we love making/doing new traditions with our littles!!
I’m so glad you can relate! It can be so hard being away but I would never change it after how much we grew together as our own little family! Thank you for sharing!
We’re living in St George now. We’re only 3.5 hours from my family but it’s been so rough. It’s almost been a year but I’m still having a hard time with it. My husband has family near by but we don’t see them very often at all, which makes it harder somehow. I know it will get better as we build better relationships with neighbors and friends. Thanks for your post. There’s definitely positive and negative things to both living close to family and living away from family.
I completely understand and know just how you feel! It is so hard, especially with a close fam! I promise it gets better! Thank you for sharing and bein part of this little community! I love hearing from you guys!
We have lived away from family for the better part of 14 years. We’ve had 3 children in that time, none of which were born in our home state. But we’ve loved it. Our grandparents are getting older and that’s hard, but it’s been so good to be on our own. We visit family often and they visit us and those visits are enough to satisfy a longing to see them. But like you said, we have made friends (young and old) that have become family to us. Thinking about leaving them makes me sad and I think that’s how friendship should be.
Yes you described it perfectly! Leaving our friends was just about as hard as the day we moved away from family!
About 2.5 years ago, we moved 10 hours away from my family – from Minnesota to Illinois. We found the same to be true for us – we have friends who are like family, and it has brought us closer as a family. We adopted both of our kids, and when we were close to family, I feel I wasn’t as bonded with my oldest. He had me, my husband, my parents, etc, and he was bonded to all of us. But it kind of felt to me like I was no more important to him than my parents were. Since being down here, he is definitely more bonded to us than to anyone else, and we did not at all have the same bonding experience with our second (who we adopted while down here). With her it was easy, and it felt like she bonded with us much easier. But yes. We long for bigger cheering sections, for taking real vacations that aren’t just to see family, for free babysitting and date nights, and for weekends away for the two of us. We do plan to move back home, and I am very much looking forward to it, but man. The community we have built here is so great, and we have really loved it here. This feels like home to us too, and it is going to be extremely hard to leave.
What an amazing hidden blessing! I’m so glad you were able to make that special bond, especially a time you probably really needed it. Thank you so much for sharing + being part of this space!
I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and perspectives on this! My husband and I are currently talking about moving out of state. Right now, we’re 15 mins away from both of our families! We don’t have littles yet but it will probably be in the next couple years. Leaving family is the biggest thing holding me back from saying “okay let’s go on this adventure!” So it’s nice to hear from other that have experienced it, even feeling the same fears I do, but who say it’s all going to be okay 🙂
Yes! So hard to just jump in it, but so many good things have come from being on our own too!
I think you totally nailed it! Both my husband and I are from Utah and two years ago we headed east for a job in New York. It has been a crazy ride but also fun to really make our own traditions. And it is crazy how your friends and community start to fill in some of the gaps of family. Not to say that we don’t love when we get family time. I think it makes it almost more special when my boys get one on one time with their grandparents when we do get together. Also, I’ve recently started following you and you are just the sweetest!
Yes it is so crazy how what you think is going to be the hardest thing in the world turns out to have a few amazing blessings as well! Thank you so much for sharing…I love hearing from you!!
I have to catch up on my bloggers on the weekends, and I am just reading this now. I love hearing about you and your family. You are my inspiration! My husband and I got married in October of 2010 and moved to Pomona (LA County), CA since. We live three hours from my family, and the first few years were so difficult! I’ve always been so close to them, but it has been such a blessing for my husband and me to bond and make our own traditions. My husband is the only child and both his parents have passed away. So I don’t have any in laws and no kids yet, but we have met the coolest friends that are practically family now. I can totally relate! I’m so happy that you and your family are settling in a home so close to family. What a blessing! I love hearing about your house updates. I can’t wait to see it finished